Highway of the 3 D’s – Depression, Droners & Drama

I always felt sorry for people driving back and forth on the Dubai-Abu Dhabi road, and never expected I would be one of thousands of commuters. Now, I find myself in that pool and I still feel sorry for myself. But I’m not dedicating this piece on the sad life of commuters.

Rather, it’s about the different faces and expressions I get to see every day going to work and home.

1. Everyone thinks he/she is a Sheikh or a VIP on the road and believe they must be on the left lane and its mostly people who drive no faster than 110 km/hr ... grrr

2. The “Schumacher” – this is the guy/girl who thinks they own the road and drive at a speed of 1000 km/hr flashing you from 5 km away and kisses the tails of your car. You never get to see this persons’ face because you’re too worried or annoyed and are thinking of how to move onto the next lane without dying

3. The “Droner” – this is the guy/girl who knows that the speed limit is up to 140/160 km/hr – yet they drive well below 20 kms less than the speed limit and people like the Schumacher almost ram up into them

4. The “Droner” and “Starrer” - this is the guy/girl who knows that the speed limit is up to 140/160 km/hr – yet they drive well below 20 kms less than the speed limit and when they move, they stare at you will angry eyes and mutter out some sort of curse word/s

5. The “La-di-da Droner” - this is the guy/girl who knows that the speed limit is up to 140/160 km/hr – yet they drive well below 20 kms less than the speed limit and just to annoy you a little bit more, will not move. So you don’t annoy him/her, they annoy you, cause you get so frustrated that anyway you take the next lane, pass them and drive in front them

6. The “Awena-you-think-you-can-race-me” – this guy/girl drives at the required speed limit but sometimes you wanna push yours and he/she sees that you want to do that so they purposely drive right in front of you at the same speed you are. If you decide to shift lanes and pass them, they’ll speed up and match your speed on the lane they are in and still manage to be in front of you.

7. The "I'll poke fun @ you" - this guy/girl will purposely wave you off and secretly laugh at you. Sometimes, this person comes in a pair or a group and the group turns around to look at you and poke at the window and laugh until you get pissed and switch lanes to overtake them

8. The "My sense of sound, seeing and motion are overly slow" - this person is usually the one with both hands on the wheel and sits upright and close to the steering wheel. 9 out 10 times, its a woman or someone from the Indian Subcontinent. You can flash them a kilometer away or tail them and it'll take them an hour to switch lanes - even when there is no one on the next lane!

9. The "I'll get creative" drivers - are those who put up fed ex envelopes, newspapers, clothes on their window to use as tint that will protect them from the sun. Fun

Finally!

10. The "wild one" - I think I get classified in this category - this is the person who has breakfast in their car because we don't have time to eat at home and have to make it to work for an 8.30 am meeting. This is also the person who sings in their car or makes some sort of mouth movement (usually cursing out people who can't or don't know how to drive).

If you know of any others, pass them on ...